Do... Something

To be successful in life, it seems that so many people believe you need one thing: to be “the best”. We strive to be the strongest, the richest, the smartest, the most talented. We want “the best” for those around us so we work long hours and even numerous jobs to be able to provide for our families and even just to be accepted in our own fields of interest or expertise. We spend hours, days, years working at jobs and studying to be better than we are. Having goals, aspirations and the drive to succeed is all very admirable and are important for our sense of worth and accomplishment in life. But, sometimes I wonder…why? Why do we spend all this time and energy competing to get to the top and to live such full, eventful lives so we feel we have something to show for ourselves? So much so that lots of times we end up barely having time for anything else? Is being “the best” at something worth it if we become so driven towards our own goals in life that we neglect our families, friends, or even our own health and happiness? At the end of your life, will you be remembered by your family and friends by how much money you made, how smart you were, how driven, competitive, or successful you were in any area? And even if you are, is that what you would want to be remembered for? In the end, what really makes us “the best”? When it comes down to it, what is it that really matters?

I think I was about 10 or 11 when my grandfather passed away. I have fond memories of spending time with him when I was very young, eating licorice allsorts and him sitting in his lounge chair entertaining me and my cousins with what he would say were “funny jokes” where we might have called them “lame jokes”. His favourite was “Did you hear about the kidnapping at the shopping centre? ... The mum had to go and wake him up.” [insert eye roll and polite laughter here]. I don’t remember much about my grandpa’s funeral or truthfully much about who my grandfather was. I remember what he looked like and times when I was with him, but I don’t remember what he was good at or what he spent his life doing. I was never old enough to know much about what kind of person he really was or learn too many lessons from him that I could comprehend their meaning at the time. But I remember the quality time he spent with all of us, even at a young age. And I remember this poem that was read at his funeral. So I like to imagine my grandpa was a bit like this:


“You never know when someone
May catch a dream from you.
You never know when a little word
Or something you may do
May open up the windows
Of a mind that seeks the light…
The way you live may not matter at all,
But you never know, it might.”


Over the past ten years, I’ve travelled and lived in a lot of different places. I’ve been fortunate enough to become friends with many talented, motivated and successful people. They went after their goals and attempted to make their mark in the world. I’m proud of them for finding their passions and achieving their dreams. But, as I think about the people in my life from each of those places, the ones that have meant the most to me (my “best” friends) aren’t the ones with the highest degrees, the biggest houses, or the most money or fame. They are the ones that I’ve shared memorable moments with, went on spontaneous adventures with, shared good laughs and deep conversations with. They are the ones who stopped by to check in on me when they knew I was having a hard time, the ones who left random, unexpected notes to say hi or just show their appreciation. The ones who made the time and the effort to show they cared.

For me, “the best” people I know are the ones who have gone to the trouble to do little things to make even just a small impact. It’s not so much what they do, it’s that when faced with the choice to do something or do nothing, they chose to do SOMETHING. They chose to smile as they walked by instead of looking at the ground. They chose to write that note or make that phone call just to say hi, or to spend time talking out problems, offering encouragement or advice, or pondering life’s questions in silence. Instead of taking some much needed rest from their already busy lives, they chose to spend time with friends, or do something to help another person in need. I think the part that makes all of those “somethings” REALLY something is that they did them, not because they had anything to gain or were obligated in any way, but simply because they could. They chose to care.

From time to time over the years, I’ve been brought back to this poem and the memory of my grandpa. It gives me encouragement to instead of doing nothing, do something. To be “the best” person I can be, I think that sometimes it’s important to step out of the competitive ring and put aside my personal goals and agendas, my work, my projects and time fillers to do something that matters or to take the time to show care and support to someone I love. Simply because, in reality, the things we choose to do may make no difference and we may never know if they even meant anything at all. But “… you never know, it might”.

- editorial for the victoria reminder